Relationships are usually where our stuff shows up loudest. You can be smart, self-aware, and “good at personal growth” and still find yourself repeating the same dynamic: picking the same type of person, shutting down, over-functioning, people-pleasing, getting anxious, going cold, going quiet, losing yourself.
 
In this work we look at what’s actually driving it underneath — not just what you think you should do differently. I use QEC alongside somatic awareness and mindfulness. That means we work with your nervous system responses and subconscious beliefs around love, safety, trust, worth, closeness, and belonging. The goal isn’t to become “better at relationships”. It’s to feel more secure in yourself, so you can show up clearly and choose differently.
 
A lot of relational patterns don’t live in your thinking mind. You can understand your attachment style, read the books, say all the right words, but your body still reacts the same way in the moment. That’s because the pattern is often protective and automatic. It was learned early. It sits in the nervous system and the subconscious. This is where QEC can be genuinely helpful: we’re not just talking about the pattern, we’re shifting the internal programming that keeps running it.
 
This is for you if you keep noticing the same loop (with different people), if you struggle to say what you feel or need, if intimacy is hard (too much, too little, too confusing), if conflict sends you into fight/flight/freeze/fawn, or if you’re tired of analysing your relationships without actually changing how they feel.
 
In sessions we start with what’s real right now - a situation, a trigger, a stuck place. We do some focused inquiry (Gestalt-style) to find the belief or fear underneath, the part of you that’s trying to stay safe, the emotional logic that’s running things. Then we use QEC to shift it at the subconscious level, so you’re not relying on willpower and “good communication skills” to override a nervous system alarm. People often feel lighter and clearer afterwards, and the change tends to show up in real life: less spiralling, less shutting down, more directness, more capacity for closeness, better boundaries.
 
We can work with anxious attachment (needing reassurance, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment), avoidant patterns (withdrawing, numbing, “I’m fine” when you’re not), people-pleasing, communication freeze, trust issues, and the classic “same relationship, different person” problem. And it’s not only romantic relationships — these patterns show up with friends, family, colleagues, and especially with yourself.
 
I’m not promising a perfect relationship or some blissed-out version of you who never gets triggered. The aim is simpler and better: you feel more grounded, more honest, more able to stay present, and more able to choose what’s actually right for you.
 
Sessions are 1.5 hours, in person or online. If you want to see whether this is a fit, we can start with a conversation and take it from there.
​
​
​
Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need to be in a relationship to do this work?
Not at all. Much of this work is about your relationship with yourself and the patterns you carry. Whether you're single, dating, partnered, or navigating a transition, this work will serve you.

What if my partner won't come to sessions?
You don't need your partner present. When you change your patterns, the entire relational dynamic shifts. Many clients find their relationships transform even though only they're doing the work.

How is this different from couples therapy?
Couples therapy focuses on the relationship between two people. This work focuses on your internal patterns—the subconscious programming that affects all your relationships. It's often more effective because we're addressing the root cause.

Will I have to talk about painful past relationships?
We'll explore what's relevant to your healing, but QEC doesn't require you to relive traumatic experiences. We work with the beliefs and patterns that formed, not the detailed stories.

How quickly will I see changes?
Most clients notice shifts within the first few sessions—often immediately. Because we're working at the subconscious level, change happens faster than with traditional talk therapy.
 
Have questions? Let's talk. Your free discovery call is the first step toward the relationships you've been longing for.